For my Tai Chi teacher
Me, am I only this body walking around?
Full of scars and lacking direction?
Am I the song with no rhythm, no rhyme and no sound?
A fragmented tale of disconnection?
Am I fat and skinny all just the same?
Full and empty, sane and insane?
Plastic girl with no words on my face but a smile?
A failed runner not reaching the mile?
Who ever is me, watches me and will see
A wall that is made out of bricks
I built it myself so I could easily hide
Behind the structure I chose to be thick
From there I would sit to observe and stand by
To believe I could not make a change
That whenever I change, I replace me instead
By a picture I would rather be
From where-ever I am, I would thus watch myself
Let the wall grow and come after me
It did never protect me from the monster I feared
As the threatening wall became me
Is the world painted dark? I got lost in its shades
It’s myself now that I really fear
I can’t run, can’t hide in the circles I shaped
A scorpion haunting it’s tail
Am I really this girl fighting fiercely and wild
Against life just to simply survive?
The world seems to harass my sensitive mind
Is it only in dreams where I thrive?
I mirror my teacher to calm down and commence
And slide into the form through the sand
My first perfect step moves my foot to the left
My body follows, my arms and my hands
Little stones on the soil press into my skin
Print the pattern of existence’ own soul
From the soft yellow sand where no pain can exist
I glance up to the sun and then bow
I breathe in deep and softly, my arms do the work
Move my hands up in front of my eyes
I pull up the energy sprouting out of the earth
Fill my life with the power of light
I breathe out with no thoughts, my hands seek the soil
Send the waste of my body down there
It streams back to the earth where the worms take it in
And digest it to make life again
With my next inhalation love comes back to me
I move beyond me and myself
It won’t matter here if I’d became someone else
As it’s here, only here, where I am